Arabian Ninja
by Chezmonkey
Summary: One day, Naruto finds a dusty old lamp in the trash. Little did he know that withing that lamp was a force that would change his life forever.
1. Chapter 1: A Genie?

A/N: Have no fear, I'm still working on SE. However, this hit my head recently, and I didn't see anything else like it on the site. So, I decided to throw this together and pop it on out for everyone's enjoyment. Read and review!

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Disclaimer: This is a fan-written work of fiction, purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes. All characters and ideas within are righted to their respective owners.

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**Arabian Ninja**

**Chapter 1: A Genie?  
**

_Naruto, Age 6_

To some people, a boy scrounging in the streets for his next meal was a horrible sight. To the citizens of Konoha, it was a show to be enjoyed, in the case of one certain boy, of course. Naruto scrounged throughout the streets, looking for a forgotten scrap or thrown away meal. He had lost his allowance for the week during a fight with some of the older boys, who had cornered him and taunted him until he'd forced his way out. He'd gotten away without any trouble, but he'd spilled his coins and by the time he could sneak back they had been taken. So there he was, looking throughout dumpsters and trashcans in search of something to fill his stomach. He'd all but cleared the street by the time he reached the last bag, and had yet to find a scrap. Ripping it open, he found to his joy an almost perfectly fine apple, with a single worm that he easily picked out. Enjoying his meal, he started to stand back up when his finger caught in the rubbish. Pulling it loose brought with it a strange old lamp, dusty and worn, that caught his eye. Shrugging, since to him one man's trash was another man's treasure, he pocketed it and headed back home.

Opening the door to his apartment, he threw the core of the devoured apple into a heaping trashcan, and set the lamp on his table. He found a container of oil, and poured some in so he could light it. To his dismay, it refused to catch on fire, showing that it truly was a piece of junk. Sighing in dismay, he set it high on a nearby shelf, and promptly forgot about it. Little did he know that that little lamp would one day change his entire life.

**XxX**

_Naruto, Age 12_

6 years had passed since that fateful day, and our young hero had grown into a fine young ninja. He'd just returned home after finally receiving his headband, and gave a good stretch as he set it on the table to look at it. "Boy, what a day. Mizuki give me a chance to graduate, and it turns out he just wanted to use me. I'm sure glad Iruka-sensei showed up when he did, otherwise I woulda been a gonner! Still…" Naruto sighed and looked down at his stomach, thinking of the shocking revelation he'd learned that night. Having a demon inside of you was the pits, especially since it explained all the times the villagers had messed with him. He just wished that he didn't have to deal with having to keep the thing contained, or better yet, that he could control the monster in his stomach.

On a shelf high above him, the dusty old lamp rattled slightly, and moved closer to the edge. Naruto looked up from where he was examining his headband, and looked around. "Probably those darn rats again. They better not be in my cabinets, yah!" After his exclamation, which was followed by pounding from below and the old man yelling at him to shut up, Naruto returned his gaze to the headband before him, lost once more in wishes and thoughts. Once more, the lamp rumbled, sliding ever closer to the edge before finally tipping over and falling to the floor with a loud crash. Bolting upright, his gaze swiveled around the room looking for intruders until it came to rest on the lamp on the floor. "Heh, musta slid off, huh?" Naruto walked over and picked it up, looking it over for the first time in six years. "You sure got a little dusty, huh? A good rub will fix that up, for sure!" Walking over to the kitchen sink, Naruto grabbed the nearby drying rag, and proceeded to give the lamp a vigorous rubbing in order to remove the caked on dirt and grime. Looking back on that moment, he would swear he didn't scream like a little girl, no matter what that old man below him said.

Fireworks filled every corner of the room as the sky crackled and rumbled. Naruto landed on his rump with the lamp before him, shuddering as it billowed smoke towards his ceiling. A form began to take shape, and as Naruto watched a giant blue man filled the room. He grabbed a kunai and through it right at the figure just as it began to crack its neck. "OWIE!" It cried, though the kunai just seemed to fly right through it. "Hey pal, what's the big idea, huh?" A blue hand reached down and picked him up, holding his arms tight against his side as he came face to face with the… person? "So little buddy, who the heck are you? And what's with all the stabby stabby, hmm?" Finding himself set down on the floor once more, he cleared his throat, and coughed out the only think he could. "Naruto… my name is Naruto." He looked at the man, fear evident in his eyes.

"Naruto huh? Well Naruto, welcome to the game!" A bright panel lit up next to the genie, displaying Naruto's name in bright flashing letters. "Would ya like me to call you Na? Or how about To? Or ru, y'know like in Rrrrrroooster?" At this, Genie took the shape of a gigantic bird, crowing right into Naruto's face. "Nah, all those seem too… silly. Naruto it is then." In a flash of smoke, Genie returned to his normal appearance. "Well, you're a lot… younger than my last Master, but then again, I'm also a lot older than I was too, hachachacha!" Naruto's head was spinning, at this point. A giant blue man using henge to become a whole lot of different shapes was messing with him in his apartment… and what was with the Master bit? "You… are you a, a demon?"

Genie froze. "Look buddy, what did you just call me? DEMON? Did you rub that lamp? Did you bring me here? Did you not see the smoke and fireworks? Can you not tell that I'm a GENIE? Spell it with me now, G. E. N. I. E.! Who do we all love? GENIE!" A bizarre combination of the man splitting into several cheerleader versions of himself was presented to Naruto, who at this point was pretty sure he'd died, or knocked his head, or been drugged. Maybe that last cup of ramen was bad? Nah, it was Icharaku's, their stuff was never bad! "What's a Genie? If it ain't some kind of demon, how come you're blue? And why did you call me Master?" Naruto wanted to just put his head in his lap and faint, but he was made of sterner stuff, unfortunately.

"Look pal, I don't discriminate against YOUR body color, now do I? It's pretty simple, after all. I'm a genie, an **all-powerful cosmic being who can control the very fabric of the universe and bend space and time to my WILL!**" This last part had him even larger than before, speaking in a deep and powerful base that rumbled the foundations of the building. "and tied to this little itty bitty lamp." He shrank and appeared in the lamp before Naruto. "Whoever holds the lamp gets three wishes, only three. Count 'em with me now: Uno, dos, quatro!" Genie stared at his fingers, having accidently put 4 out instead of three. "Ahem, I mean, tres. And none of the wishing for more wishes, got it?" Naruto shook his head, amazed at the crazy guy before him. "So I can have three wishes, huh? From an all-powerful 'genie'? Anything I want, well that sounds too good to be true." He gave Genie the hard stare, reflecting on all the times he'd been tricked before. "Weeeeell… There are a few, uh, restrictions." Genie looked slightly shame-faced as Naruto looked back at him. "Well, what are they, I guess.?" He'd known it was too good to be true.

"Alrighty, rule number 1: I can't kill anybody. Sorry, but that's how it is." He mimed the old "head cut" and shrugged. Naruto gave a short laugh, and said "That's fine, if I wanted someone dead I'd get them myself, I am a ninja after all!" Genie gave him a sharp look, and went on. "Rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else." Genie gave Naruto a big smooch, and made bambi eyes at him while he said it. Naruto wiped off the drool, and gave a sharp shrug. "Well that rules out one of them, too bad. Anything else?" Genie gave a smirk. "Rule numero 3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, I DON'T LIKE DOIN IT!" Genie became a zombie and displayed the gross nature as he gave the big closer. Naruto's face fell. He'd hoped to use one of his wishes to bring back his parents, so he could find out who they were and ask them all sorts of questions. Sighing, he turned back to thinking. Three wishes…

**xXx**

Naruto lay on his bed as he thought, daydreaming as he tried to figure out what to wish for. Genie had returned to his lamp, saying that he'd give him time to think, and now he was all alone as the light of the moon poured over him from his window. He could wish to be the best ninja ever… but that would feel too much like he was being given the title, and if he knew one thing he knew he didn't want to be given everything he asked for, like a certain other Gennin he knew. He could wish for lots of money, or power… but none of those appealed to him either. He just couldn't decide, and his conflicting ideas bounced in his head the whole night. Finally, as the rays of dawn hit the village, he thought of something, and bolted upright. "I've got it! I'll just wish for…" His eyes rolled up in his head, and he fell backwards, dead tired. From inside the lamp, Genie gave a small chuckle at the antics of his new master.

Hours later, Naruto was finally shaken awake by Iruka, who had gotten in with the spare key Naruto lent him. "NARUTO! Why aren't you at the Academy? Did you forget that you were meeting your team today?" A tick mark formed on Iruka's head as Naruto mumbled something about noodles and tried to fall back asleep. He yanked him upright and shook him, forcing him to wake up. "NARUTO. GET. OUT. OF. BED!" Naruto's eyes snapped open, and he looked around until he spotted Iruka standing in front of him, seriously ticked off. "Oh, hi Iruka-sensei! What's going on?" He suddenly recalled last night's events, and his eyes widened. Was he in trouble because he'd found a "genie"?

Iruka sighed and put his head into his hands. "Naruto, you're late. You need to meet your team at the Academy. Pray your sensei still isn't there, 'cause I did not pass you just for you to get sent back, you hear?" Naruto cried out in alarm, moving almost as a blur as he dressed and got ready. As the orange blur shot out of the door, Iruka heard it say "Thanks Iruka-sensei!" as it passed, and gave a quick chuckle. Noticing the banged up lamp on Naruto's floor, he picked it up and put it on the center table, shaking his head as he walked out the door and closed it behind him.

**XxX**

Naruto returned to the apartment hours later, having met his team and instructor. He'd still gotten there before Kakashi-sensei, even with the hours he'd spent asleep. Grumbling about how he had to deal with the last Uchiha being on his team, he saw the lamp and remembered what he'd thought of right before falling asleep. Quickly making sure no one was around, he gave the lamp a quick rub, and waited for the Genie to appear.

"Phoowhee, it was a long day! So, how'd it go? Were you good on your first day of school, little Naru…?" Genie's appearance this time around was that of a housewife, and Naruto noticed he somehow had acquired a backpack and stack of books, which he quickly threw to the ground. "It wasn't my first day of school, Genie. I was just meeting my teammates and teacher, sheesh!" Genie's face grew bright as a wide smiled stretched across it. "So you're on a team! Oh goody, oh goody, I just can't WAIT to meet them! Well, c'mon, what are they like?"

Naruto launched into a quick explanation of his team's makeup, including his opinions on his teacher and the last Uchiha. "And so I'm not supposed to eat before tomorrow, that's what he said." Naruto finished his long spiel, and took a quick breath. "Well now, that just doesn't sound so smart to me, Naruto, pal. Always have a good full meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, yup!" Genie stuffed Naruto full of food until he expanded, before poofing it all away. "Other than that, sounds like you'll have such a fun time! Though…" he looked down at the ground and scuffed his toe. "I'd like to come too, maybe? Just stick my lamp in your belt loop, maybe?" He sounded hopeful, and Naruto decided to bring Genie with him to the test tomorrow, especially since he might finally see what a ninja really was like.

"Anyways, enough about them. I've finally decided on my first wish!" Naruto thought this would be a good one, and waited as Genie appeared, notepad in hand, for the wish to be delivered. Naruto took a deep breath, and then let it out. "Alright, I wish…"

Inside of Naruto's mind, a sleeping beast cracked an eyelid as something it's host said caught it's attention. At first, it shrugged it off as wishful thinking, before bolting up right as it saw precisely who its host was talking too. The fox had only ever heard of the mystical creatures known as "genies" in tales from a long time before, and shuddered in fear at what was to come. It began to pump it's chakra into the boy in a vain attempt to break free, trying as hard as it could, to no avail. It's time was coming, and it knew it.

"… I wish that I had full control over the demon inside of me." Naruto finished, looking at Genie hopefully. On his part, Genie was puzzled. Demon? "So Naruto, what's your problem? Drinking? Gambling?" Far far away from the two, a blond-haired woman suddenly looked at the sky, and gave a quick sneeze before returning to the card game in front of her. "Or is it just some sort of uncontrollable lust for ramen? I can fix it all!" Genie continued listing options until he noticed Naruto sort of fuming at him. "Not an addiction, huh? What, precisely, do you mean Naruto my boy?" In a poof, Genie sat before him in a large recliner, book in hand with glasses on his face, looking intently at Naruto for an explanation. Naruto tried to calm down, not noticing his red eyes or the slits his pupils had become. As he began to explain in a rough, angry voice, Genie noticed the fangs and whisker marks becoming more pronounced, and realized that Naruto was indeed being serious. "Eh, ah, buddy, you got a little fang action going on, ok? Never fear now, Genie WILL take care of the problem! All it takes is a little preparation, a little elbow grease, a splash of determination, aaand…"

Genie zapped Naruto with a large bolt of magic, putting all of his concentration into the working, until he suddenly found himself becoming smoke, and being sucked into Naruto's gut. "Well, this was unexpected. I guess, as they say, I'll need to beat the sickness from the INSIDE!" The last bit of smoke puffed into Naruto's chest, and he fell unconscious, passed out on his floor as a war began to wage in his mind.

**xXx **


	2. Chapter 2: The Demon War

A/N: Well, here's the 2nd chapter! So soon? Well, they were both somewhat short, but the ending parts just work out too well! Naruto may get a bit !Powerful in this story, but he certainly won't get to be !God like so easily. He has a long way to go, for sure. Thankfully, Genie will be there to keep him focused! This is coming to you RAW after a single day's works. Feel free to point out any mistakes in a review!

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Disclaimer: This is a fan-written work of fiction, purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes. All characters and ideas within are righted to their respective owners.

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**Arabian Ninja**

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Naruto slowly regained consciousness as loud crashes and cracks thundered about him. Opening his eyes, he found himself lying in what seemed to be a ditch, with a large blue blob to his left. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and tried to focus. Slowly, the blue blob resolved into Genie, who was strangely enough wearing a soldier's uniform and barking into a radio with one hand while shooting a rather large rifle with the other. Naruto began to stand, only to be shoved back down onto the ground by _another_ Genie as an orange bolt shot right where his head had just been. "Whoa, what the crap? Genie, what's going on?" Naruto was beginning to panic as he noticed his surroundings a bit better. Thousands of Genie's were arrayed into a circle, facing inwards towards what appeared to be eight car-sized foxes surrounding an even large ninth fox, who was chained to the ground. Hundreds of blue bolts shot from the Genie troops as they faced the beasts from ditches, while the eight guardian foxes blasted, burned, and smashed the closest soldiers. In the background, tents and trucks lay with wild abandon, and for every Genie that was poofed, another rose to take its place.

Naruto was beginning to panic. He had woken up, apparently, in the middle of a full-fledged war and he couldn't figure out where the real Genie was. He resorted to asking several of the fighters around him, who responded with pretty generic sayings such as "That-a-ways, laddie" and "Over there, m'boy" while pointing in one direction or another. He finally found himself in a large open tent, slightly off to one side, where many of the Genie clones were busy managing phones, checking charts, and plotting strategy. In the midst of it all sat one rather rotund Genie who was wearing a pin-stripe suit and smoking a thick cigar. "We're losing more troops to the west than we can afford, it seems. Send in the G-Bomb!" All around the tent, Genie clones gasped, before renewing their activities with a burst of speed. Naruto's head spun with the sheer racket being made, and he stepped out of the tent to catch his breath. Right in front of his eyes, a large plane rolled forwards and took off, strangely seeming to have a grinning mouth on its front.

In the distance, Naruto watched as the bomber slowly banked over a large connection of ditches where 3 of the guardian foxes were concentrating fire. The bomber's underbelly cracked open, and a large blue bomb fell, strangely laughing all the way. A huge mushroom cloud of blue smoke filled the air, and when it cleared Naruto could see that the three foxes had disappeared, leaving a rush of Genie's to swarm the gap. He ducked back into the tent, shaking his head. Whatever they'd done, it had certainly worked. Naruto waved to get the attention of the Genie that seemed to be in charge of the whole mess, and was relieved to see him catch his eye. "NARUTO! Oh thank goodness you've arrived. When you said demon, you meant Demon with a capital D, huh?" Genie swept Naruto up in a large hug, back to normal, as chattered on and on about the foulness of what he'd found. "Oh man, this character's a piece of work, I tell ya. Yellow sheet as long a highway, and illegal trespassing to boot! Never fear though, we Genies can handle the task. He'll be down quicker than you can shake a tail leg, that's for sure!" The Genie clones in the room gave a big hurrah at that, before returning to work.

Outside, it seemed that the G-Bomb had allowed the Genie troops a small reprieve as the remaining foxes fought to keep them away. Naruto, feeling that it wasn't fair to let Genie do all the work, asked if he could help out. Despite Genie's best attempts to get him to "leave it to the professionals", he finally agreed to let Naruto join in the fray. Knowing the perfect Jutsu to use to help out, he concentrated his chakra and called out "Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Thousands of Naruto's joined the thousands of Genies in the fray, yelling and whooping as they set upon the foxes. Genie's jaw dropped to the floor, and when he'd managed to push it back into place, turned to look at Naruto with a suspicious look on his face. "Are you sure you're not a genie too, pal?" Naruto chuckled slightly before explaining that it was just a technique ninja like him could do. Shrugging at the strangeness, Genie turned back to watching the fight, as did Naruto.

One by one, the remaining foxes began to fall. By the time Naruto and the real Genie had made it down to the front of the battle, there was only one left. That one tried it's best to keep back the flow of blue and orange, releasing beam after beam of destructive power, but to no avail. Finally, the last guardian fell, and the Genie and Naruto clones poofed, their job over. Genie pushed Naruto back as he rolled up his sleeves, a stern look on his face. "I'll take it from here, Naruto. This is a good old fight between the fox…" Genie poofed into a giant wolf, with razor sharp teeth and nasty-looking claws "… And the wolf. C'mere, buddy!" Naruto watched as Genie leaped onto the trapped fox, occasionally dodging as their fight rolled around to where he was and generally being in awe at the sheer catfight in front of him. In the end, however, the fox could not last and with one final roar of anger, was defeated at Genie's hands.

**xXx**

Returning to normal size, Genie wiped his brow and took a stool and a towel from another Genie that poofed into existence, dressed like a boxing coach. "Whoo-eee, that was a doozy all right! Took just about all the strength I had, but Naruto, the deed is done." Swooping from his stool, Genie appeared before a large cloth-covered object, suspiciously sphere-like. Wearing an artist's beret and carrying a paintbrush, Genie said in a snooty accent "May I present to you, one of my best works, what I call… Ze Ball!" Grabbing the cloth, he pulled it off to reveal a large shining ball of pure energy, pulsing slightly above a nameplate that indeed said "Ze Ball."

Naruto laughed, relieved that Genie had truly concurred his inner demon. Genie returned to Naruto, and appeared in a farmer's outfit as he stuffed his hands in his coverall's pockets. "Yessir, grew her meself. Washed it, cleaned it, dried it, burned it, filtered it…" Genie went on and on as more Genies appeared, demonstrating the action's he had taken "… until it's fit for consumption, as you can see here." Genie finished with a big flourish, pointing to the ball. Naruto, excited beyond belief, ran towards the ball fully intending to take it into himself before suddenly finding himself hoisted into the air by Genie, who was wearing a disapproving look on his face.

"Hold on there little buddy. It may be safe, but that don't mean you can just eat it all right up, y'hear? You ain't ready to handle the sheer power that dude was packing, kapish?" Naruto frowned and crossed his arms, angry that Genie wouldn't let him have the demon's power. "Genie, what's the big idea? I thought you said you'd help me get control over the demon? Why can't I use it?" Naruto was more than a little upset, though he did wait like Genie had asked him too. Genie sighed, and smacked his hand down onto Naruto. Naruto popped back into place almost cartoon-like, suddenly sitting at a school desk with books and an apple on it. Genie walked in front of him, wearing a professor's outfit and carrying a pointer. Nearby, a blank chalkboard waited for use.

"It's elementary, my dear Naruto. You" he said, pointing at a picture of Naruto that appeared on the chalkboard "Have a, 'tank' if you will, that fills up with energy. Yours, from what I can see, is huge enough, but it's constantly overflowing." The diagram showed Naruto's stomach, with a fuel meter that's needle was smashed past its limits. "Therefore, if I tried to stuff the energy this old fox had inside of him into _you_…" The diagram showed a chalkboard Genie shoving a shining ball into Naruto, which caused the fuel meter to crack and flat line out. "You won't be able to handle it, and that means… **BOOM!**" The chalkboard Naruto expanded slightly before exploding in a shower of confetti. "Y'see what I mean?" Genie finished his explanation and looked at Naruto, who was now wearing a scared look on his face. He'd almost gone "boom" like Genie said, which would have stunk. A puzzled look flashed across his face, and he asked "But then, how am I supposed to get control? I don't want to go boom, but…?" He looked down, afraid that he'd lose out on a big part of the stuff that he could get from having the demon gone.

Genie grabbed him and forced his face into a smile, crying out "Never fear old pal, you'll get 'Ze Ball' eventually! You just have to make your tank bigger, y'see? All it takes is a little training!" At that, Naruto's face lit up once more. If there was one thing he was good at, it was training. He wondered just how he'd make his tank big enough to hold "Ze Ball," but as he was thinking Genie continued on with some more news. "Besides, it's not like you're getting nothing from this! From what I can tell, this old coot was letting you borrow a bit of his power already, though not much. Looks like…" Genie appeared at Naruto's face, holding a large magnifying glass as he inspected Naruto. "Healing and stamina, good things to have, y'know! I'll bet that now the foxy is gone, you'll have a lot more of that power than you did before, my pal. Now, let's get outta this place, it's starting to give me the creeps." Genie shot one last look at the pile of chains where the fox had been, and where the Ze Ball was now floating inside of a glass box. He shuddered once, before clapping Naruto's shoulder and getting them to walk away, the scene fading out as they left Naruto's inner mind.

**XxX**

In the real world, Naruto groaned as he awoke on his kitchen floor. He was slightly relieved to find that he hadn't actually been at a battlefield, proving that it indeed had happened in his head, and waited as Genie slowly puffed his way outta Naruto's stomach. Once they were both more relaxed, they sat and chatted for a good portion of the night, talking about Genie's experiences and Naruto's life. Naruto loved the tales of the ancient desert city, while Genie was shocked at the treatment Naruto had received throughout his life, and what a Ninja apparently was all about. He'd heard of worse jobs for a kid, but if professional killer wasn't one of them, something was wrong. Naruto just shrugged it off though, stating that it was for the protection of his village, who despite their behavior Naruto still wanted to protect at all costs. Besides, not all of them were bad, and Genie found himself agreeing in the end.

Right before Naruto headed for bed, he went to brush his teeth, and suddenly Genie heard a shriek come from the bathroom. Flying to investigate, he found Naruto staring into the mirror and fingering his hair and teeth. Naruto's normal pure blond spiky hair was now tipped with red, and his canines were filed to small points, signifying that Naruto had indeed taken some aspects of his former Demon. Genie shrugged, and tried to calm Naruto down. "What, what happened Genie? Is this…?" Naruto was shocked, and a bit confused, though he secretly sort of liked the new look. "Well, I said you didn't get nothing, didn't I? I thought you didn't mind. It just shows that you're a **tough mambo jambo**" At this, Genie poofed up his muscles and took on a Schwarzenegger look before returning to normal. "So don't worry! Now get to sleep, you have a big day tomorrow!" Naruto sighed, finishing his brushing and turning in for bed. He was still pretty shocked, and a bit scared, at the new look, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He had the test tomorrow, and if he didn't pass he wouldn't become a Gennin! Hopefully, Sakura wouldn't mind his new looks. Or that sensei or duckbutt Sasuke. Naruto drifted off to sleep, head filled with dreams of a fox-faced chibi Naruto chasing a chibi Sasuke and Kakashi around.


	3. Chapter 3: Meet the Team

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. I meant to get it out for Thanksgiving, but I came down with a horrible stomach bug, and spent the holiday in bed. Well, better late than never I suppose. Plus, this chapter is slightly longer than the others, though not by much. I'll try to speed up the updates, but no promises, K?

**Arabian Ninja**

Naruto was woken by the annoying ringing of a very loud, old-fashioned alarm clock, which gave a wink before turning back into Genie. Naruto grumbled something about annoying genies and rolled over to go back to sleep, hell-bent on getting just another five minutes of glorious shut-eye before rising to face his day. Of course, Genie would have none of that.

"WAKE UP PAL!" Genie bellowed, yanking his sheets off of him and rolling him onto the floor. He shot bolt upright, eyes as wide as saucers, and frantically looked around, instinctively reaching to his side for a weapon. When his hand was halfway there, he realized that A) He was in his pajamas, B) Genie was rolling on the floor laughing, and C) His sleeping cap had somehow become an actual frog, gently croaking on his head. Amazed by the fact that he was awake enough to notice, he slapped the frog onto his bed, and stood up, stretching out the kinks from a good night's sleep.

In the kitchen part of the apartment, Genie was hard at work, weilding a frilly pink apron and ridiculous female accent with sharp ability, creating a fantastic meal right in front of Naruto's eyes and sweeping him into a chair at the table, a banquet set before him. "Now, eat up Naruto! You need to grow all big and strong to finally control that demon of yours, dontcha now honey? Yessiree!" Genie had a grin as he stuffed Naruto full of various delicious foods, despite his protests. When he was satisfied, he let Naruto take a breath and waved his arms. The remaining food was neatly packed into various containers, most going into the fridge while two settled themselves onto the table before Naruto. "These are for your little pals; after all, I'm sure they will be staaahvin by the time you're done today."

Naruto sighed, realizing the futility of trying to argue with Genie. His teacher might have said to not eat or he'd puke, but apparently in Genie's mind puking was better than no meal at all. He'd not waste time trying to argue, not when he needed to be there at a certain time.

Speaking of the time, he pulled on a dark orange long-sleeve shirt and pulled on a navy-blue vest over it. Baggy orange pants and a bright orange fez with Konoha's symbol on it finished the ensemble, and he checked to make sure he could reach his pouchs through the slits in the sides of the pants. The outfit was apparently similar to the fashion that was around the last time that Genie was out, and he'd managed to trick Genie into changing his regular outfit into the new one. He liked the style, and kept it. Genie had begged him to pick something other than orange, but had found out just how stubborn Naruto could really be when the boy spent a good hour and a half lecturing him on the amazing color of orange.

Genie watched as Naruto got ready, and then slyly tucked his lamp into one of Naruto's pockets, puffing into smoke and swirling into the lamp as Naruto left the apartment and closed the door. He wasn't going to miss this for anything, especially not when he could finally learn so much about his new environment. Besides, he wanted to keep an eye on the kid.

XxX

At the training ground, Sasuke and Sakura waited for Naruto and their teacher to arrive, having arrived just moments earlier. Naruto ran up, bright and chipper and gave a cheerful hello. Sasuke and Sakura grumbled at him, wondering just how he had managed to drag himself out of his nice, warm bed to this dreary grey forest. They waited, Naruto doing some pushups and stretches to burn off some of his excess energy and warm himself up, for a good hour before the grumbles from Sakura and Sasuke's stomachs grew loud enough to hear. Naruto almost laughed, but instead Genie gave a slight cough from his lamp, and before Naruto could blink he was holding the two boxes from before. Another nudge led him over to where Sakura and Sasuke were sitting, and he shuffled his feet until they turned to look at him.

"Hey Sasuke, Sakura, are you guys hungry?" Naruto waved the boxes in front of their faces, and they glared at him as their stomachs gave yet another loud grumble. "Y'know, most people say that having food in your stomach gives you the energy to face the day, even if you are going to lose most of it within an hour or two. Our teacher is nowhere near here, right? I had some leftover stuff from breakfast, but it'll only get spoiled if it sits here all day… would you guys like to have it?" Despite his friendly manner, Sakura and Sasuke continued to give him a nasty look, so he set the boxes on the rock and wandered off, doing some more warm-up exercises.

Sasuke and Sakura stared at the food, then each other, and then looked away. They held out for almost a half an hour, to Genie and Naruto's amusement, before they finally gave in and slowly edged near to the box. Sakura was the first to actually open her box, and the aromas that drifted out from within were so heavenly that she didn't even notice she was drooling slightly. Without any further hesitation, she dug in, and was soon joined by Sasuke. Much to Naruto and Genie's amusement, they both ate in a similar manner, devouring portions at a rate that would make one think they were professional mimics. They paused briefly at Naruto's inevitable snicker, suspicious of his motives, before resuming their attempt to inhale everything in front of them. When they finally finished, they left a pair of licked-clean lunchboxes, and a smirking Naruto. Sasuke resumed his impenetrable aura of "high and mighty" Uchiha, while Sakura was content to admire him while giving the odd sigh. Naruto decided not to point out the crumbs on the outside of their mouths.

Another couple of hours passed before Kakashi finally arrived, to a loud chorus of "YOU'RE LATE" from Naruto and Sakura. He had briefly watched the group from outside their vision, noting how Naruto was smart enough to warm up, even if it was just because the morning air was cold. Meanwhile the Uchiha and the girl sat on the ground, shivering cold and solid in their beliefs that they knew absolutely everything. He'd enjoy tearing them down from their pedestal, almost as much as he would messing around with Naruto. It wasn't likely that they'd actually pass his test, but they'd at least give him a good couple of hours of entertainment before he failed them and sent them back to the academy. Smirking, he gave the two loudmouths a lame excuse about helping an old lady and her cat, before finally catching sight of what was on Naruto's head.

Faster than the three students could blink, Kakashi was finishing a throwing motion, and Naruto shivered as he reached up to pat his head. His fez, his beautiful orange fez, was pinned to a tree behind him by a kunai, while Kakashi's singular eye showed a look of pure horror. "HEY! What's the big idea, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto was fuming, wondering just what his poor fez did to deserve that kind of treatment, while Kakashi gave a sigh of relief, having managed to destroy the eye-sore before it had corrupted his other children.

In his lamp, Genie had an eyebrow raised, slightly annoyed at the Jonin's behavior. He may have been tricked into making the thing, but it was still one of his artistic works, and no one was going to treat it like that, not if he had anything to say about it. A few whispered words and a jolt of magic fixed the problem, in his mind at least.

Kakashi was in the middle of his explanation for the test, and despite an odd look between the three when he mentioned the prize would be lunch, was almost giddy with excitement for the test to come. Should he shatter their heads with genjutsu, or use some flashy ninjutsu to awe them? Maybe he would even get a chance to break out the feared secret of Konoha's taijutsu style, 1000 Years of Death! While he cackled slightly insanely to himself, the three potentials met in a group to the side, and whispered quietly to each other.

"Hn… it seems our instructor is slightly more devious, or insane, than we thought. If you hadn't brought breakfast with you, this test would have gone… poorly. Thanks." Sasuke hated admitting that the idiot had done something right for once, but he wasn't so blind that he wouldn't give credit where credit was due. After all, that meal was incredible, so flavorful and rich… Unbeknownst to him, a few drops of drool escaped his mouth as his thoughts turned to the feast Naruto had brought.

"Y-yeah, thanks Naruto." Sakura was surprised that Sasuke had dropped his cool, distant demeanor, but chalked it up to his generosity; surely praising the dead-last of their class was an act of kindness, right? She wasn't entirely sure, but she knew one thing: Naruto HAD saved their collective butts.

Naruto just grinned and rubbed the back of his head, unsure why he was getting so many thanks. After all, their prize was lunch, right? He'd make Kakashi take them to Ichiraku's for sure, and a heavenly feast of noodles would be his! He seemed to be missing the fact that Kakashi had pointed to a pair of wrapped boxes when he'd made that statement. By the time their teacher had snapped out of it, none of them noticed that there were only two lunches available.

Kakashi ended his maniacal laughter, and turned back to his now-impatient students to start the test. To his eternal horror, yet ANOTHER orange fez was on Naruto's head. He'd no sooner pinned it to the tree as well that another appeared, smack dab on his blonde, spiky hair. Kakashi launched projectile after projectile, his killing intent spiking incredibly as he tried in vain to remove the monstrosity from his student's head.

Said student that was currently frozen in fear as his teacher launched one sharp, pointy weapon after another right at his head for no reason that he could see. Eventually, it seemed that Kakashi had run out of projectiles, for the rain of metal stopped. The man was exhausted, and slightly delirious, as he stood in shock, his hand pointed in vain at Naruto's head. Reaching up, Naruto found that his fez had returned to him, and gave a cry of glee. He didn't know why his teammates were giving him that look though…

Sakura and Sasuke stared in shock at the thousands of bright orange fez's that were pinned to the trees behind Naruto, each one identical in every way, while their teacher cried hysterically to himself.

xXx

Once Kakashi had recovered from his mental breakdown (after a few more tries to remove that fez, of course) he began the test, and watched as his students concealed themselves.

Well, as two of them did, anyways. Naruto was standing in the middle of the clearing, and loudly calling him out. Idiot. Nonetheless, he would take the bait just to show him how foolish he was being.

"Y'know… you're really strange" Kakashi remarked, scratching his head. Normally the Academy would flunk idiots and morons before they even reached their second year, but somehow this nutcase managed to get through. Maybe he was only acting dumb? A loud boisterous laugh as Naruto declared he would beat him into the ground put that thought to rest. "Well, come on then" Kakashi stated in a bored tone.

Naruto growled, and charged. To Kakashi's surprise, he moved far faster than a normal Gennin should, appearing behind him in a sudden burst of speed. Unfortunately for Naruto, Kakashi was faster.

Before he could blink, Naruto found himself staring at an empty clearing. "Wha? What the hell's going on here?" Naruto looked left, then right, trying to spot his teacher. "Heh, ran away like a coward huh? Pathetic! Where's the super-strong jounin sensei we were supposed to get?" His boasting accompanied three resounding *thwacks* as Sakura, Genie, and Sasuke facepalmed in unison.

"Naruto… do you ever think?" Kakashi asked, poised right behind Naruto with his hands clasped together. "I honestly have no idea how in the world you got past the Academy. Well, time for lesson number 1: _Taijutsu_. **Konoha Secret Technique: ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!**" And queue the horrible, butt-poke of doom.

Meanwhile, Genie was finally given a chance to float free of his lamp, and survey the training grounds from the air as Naruto became like a bird, and flew through the air with majesty and grace… not. The splash he made was a ten out of ten on the cannonball scale though. To be honest, Genie found the people here pretty strange. The stronger you were, the crazier you got… apparently. Well, what the heck. He might as well enjoy the show, after all despite his eagerness, Naruto didn't seem to be the type to rush into his two other wishes. Genie settled back as the test continued much as it had in the canon universe…

… Right up until the point that Sasuke made his dramatic speech about being an avenger to Sakura. The boy's ego was larger than the forest they were in, and Genie just couldn't take it. He made a vague hand gesture to try and magic him, even though he knew that without a wish (or a fake "freebie") he couldn't really do anything to people other than himself. Imagine his surprise when it actually worked, for he felt the tug of the magic take hold. It only took him a few moments to deduce that to fully control his demon, Naruto would need to train. And training occurs in a training ground, with training partners…

Anywhere Naruto could train, Genie could use his magic.

XxX

"That time… crying… I am an avenger, Sakura." Sasuke stated, his voice laced with fury and determination. It was a dramatic moment, and Sakura nearly swooned from the emotions her love was putting towards her. And then, he sparkled. Literally sparkled, as in his shirt suddenly disappeared, and his bare chest glinted in the sunlight showing between the trees. This time Sakura actually fainted, a huge nosebleed dripping down her front.

Not far from them, Kakashi nearly fell out of his tree laughing. He didn't know how it had happened, which made him wary, but whoever did it was a genius. A freaking genius. Sasuke was frantically running around, trying to find his shirt and wondering why he looked like he'd showered in sparkles, and it was almost too much to stand. Thank god he'd decided to set up the video cameras to record their failure, because that scene would make a priceless piece of blackmail, for sure.

At that moment, the bell signifying the end of the test rang out. The kids cursed, while Kakashi groaned in disappointment. 'Just when it was getting to the good part, too' he thought. Sasuke and Sakura made their way to the clearing from the start of the test, where they saw Naruto tied up to one of the three logs there. "Hey guys, how's it hanging?" Naruto joked, seeing as he was tied up upside down for some reason. Maybe it was due to the fact of his hat seeming to be literally glued to his head, despite the pull of gravity and Kakashi's best efforts. Before they could ask him, Kakashi appeared in a swirl of leaves and indicated that they should pay him their attention.

"Ahem. After carefully examining the results of your test, I am pleased to announce… You all FAIL. You completely missed the purpose of this test, and not one of you managed to get a bell. Not a single one of you even tried to work with the others, therefore you all lack the most important aspect of being a Konoha Ninja: Teamwork." Kakashi's face was stone-cold serious as he pointed out each and every one of their individual flaws, and after instructing them of the value of Konoha's Monument, parted with one last shot. "If you wish to try one last time, you may eat lunch. However, don't give any to Naruto… his fez annoys me. If you do so, you will fail immediately."

Sasuke and Sakura stared bewildered at the bento boxes Kakashi had tossed to them. They looked fine, but neither of them were particularly hungry after eating the massive breakfast Naruto had brought them. Naruto tried to remain steadfast himself, but before he could reassure them that he was fine, his stomach growled, loudly. Sasuke, Sakura, and Genie all gave him a look, though of course Genie's was from his lamp. Naruto tried to rub his head, before giving a grunt of frustration and saying "Would somebody PLEASE flip me right side up, at least? This is killing me here!"

Chuckling despite their attempts to remain serious, Sakura and Sasuke both helped to turn him right side up, and after a quick look around to make sure Kakashi wasn't watching, dumped their "leftovers" into their nearest human recycler. Naruto munched loudly on the food, swallowing twice and flashing his trademark smile at the pair. Genie on the other hand quietly left to float above Kakashi's head nearby. The Jonin was in fact watching them from a nearby tree, and smiled at his student's success. Feeling a sudden chill, he looked directly above, and then to his left and right, eventually hopping in a circle with the uncontrollable feeling that someone was right next to him. Genie laughed as he stayed directly behind Kakashi's head, and whispered one last word before poofing back to his lamp. "_Fez…"_

xXx

The trio of ninja was startled as their instructor suddenly fell from a nearby tree, looking shocked and twitching with fury. He righted himself, coughed once in a vain attempt to renew his dignity, and turned to face the group with an expression of fury on his face. "Did you feed him your food? Did you disobey a DIRECT order not to do so? Well, in that case I have only ONE thing left to say…" His tone built in a crescendo of anger and rage, until the very peak where he paused for dramatic effect, before breaking out in a wide smile. "You PASS! Congratulations!" He went on to explain the significance of his most favorite saying, the whole "Teammates lower than trash" spiel, and then asked them to meet him at the training ground early tomorrow morning.

A/N: Naruto has passed the bell test, and Genie's met his team. All seems to be going well, but that can't last for too long, not with an old monkey spying from above…


	4. Chapter 4: The Monkey in the Big Red Hat

A/N: I know. Months, MONTHS have gone by. I have a simple explanation though: I wasn't feeling the funny. You can't write a comedy story without the funny man, it just doesn't turn out right! Strange enough that now, at 12:20 in the morning, after working a 12-hour day, I felt the urge to finish up what I have of this chapter and post it. Hopefully, more to come. Also hopefully, you enjoy what's here.

Shoutout to Naruto the Hedgehog 99 for his review! I always feel inspired when I get one, and yes, I'll try for more Genie. Other people's reactions are just so funny though!

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Disclaimer: This is a fan-written work of fiction, purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes. All characters and ideas within are righted to their respective owners. Also, is it stealing if you steal your own disclaimer?

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**Arabian Ninja**

After the team parted ways, with Kakashi heading off to report the team's success to the Hokage and Sasuke and Sakura heading off to the Uchiha Quarters (though of course, Sasuke was totally unaware of his stalker), Genie poofed out of the lamp to have another talk with Naruto, who sat on a nearby tree stump. "So, that was your team huh? Man, you have got to be the most dysfunctional squad I've ever seen. Good thing you have me, eh? I'll sort them out, yes sir!" He laughed a little, slinging his arm around Naruto's shoulder in a comforting manner. "To be honest kid, it could be worse. I've seen how some of the other people in the village look at you. At least this group is willing to give you a chance, no matter how they may act towards you. I think that with a little time, and some good old fashioned adventuring, you'll get along just fine. Though, your teacher concerns me slightly… seems he doesn't like fez's. I wonder why?"

XxX

***Flashback***

"Kakashi, my hip rival! Let us commence our 32nd competition, the Fez Wearing Contest!" Might Gai's ridiculous voice grated directly in Kakashi's ear at 3 in the morning on a Saturday, startling him from a restful slumber as effectively as a foghorn. He instinctively stabbed out with the kunai he kept hidden under his pillow, but an experienced shinobi such as Gai could easily dodge the sleepy attack. By the time Kakashi opened his eyes, he was rewarded with a face full of Gai's shining teeth, made worse today by the fact that there was a horribly gaudy, tacky, and above all ORANGE fez plastered to the top of his head. Kakashi's eyes grew wide, and he dropped to his knees, to scream out in a Kirk-like fashion.

"GAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII!"

***End Flashback***

xXx

"Yah" Genie said "Your teacher's certainly a weirdo. Regardless, let's not let that get you down, ok? Besides, now that your team is gone… You can TRAIN!" With a wave of his arm, the forest clearing filled with wooden training dummies, each one plastered with a unique face. That some of the faces happened to look like the villagers who treated him the worst was a total coincidence, of course. Genie looked on with pride, before poofing into a ninja outfit and getting Naruto's attention.

"Now that we're all alone, let's really see what you can do. The hair and teeth are cool and all, but what did you get for fighting? I mean, as far as I can tell all you got was increased strength, speed, and healing. While those are cool, you need something more substantial. What do foxes do to attack? Hmm…" Genie became lost in thought already, poofing up a comfy chair for him to think on. Meanwhile, after seeing that Genie wasn't going to move for a while, Naruto shrugged and moved towards one of the dummies. He started his warmup routine, a set of punches and kicks he had been taught in the academy, but soon found that they barely scratched the surface of his improved stamina and strength. Frustrated, he gave a nearby training dummy a sharp kick, and watched as it went flying. He stared for a moment, and then a wide grin stretched across his face. By the time Genie had snapped out of his thoughts, Naruto had destroyed almost every dummy in the clearing.

Genie looked at his pal, who was standing in the center of the clearing without even a drop of sweat, and chuckled nervously. "Well… you've certainly got the strength of a giant fox now, I guess. Good thing I can make as many dummies as you need!" With another wave of his hand, dozens more of the dummies sprouted from the ground, letting Naruto punch and kick to his heart's content. Genie decided to spend some time reading a couple of the books he'd snagged from Naruto's dusty, unused bookshelf back at his apartment, and settled down in a comfy chair at the edge of the clearing, occasionally waving his hand to make more dummies. Naruto grinned, smashing dummy after dummy and occasionally giving a shout of "THIS IS AWESOME! I'M NOT EVEN TIRED YET!"

The Third Hokage leaned back from his viewing crystal, worry set in deep lines across his face. An unknown stranger who was able to create plentiful amounts of wooden dummies with just a wave of his hand was with Naruto, who had changed almost overnight. He'd never had that much strength or stamina, even with a demon fox sealed in his stomach, and his new appearance gave rise to concerns that the beast was starting to influence him more. His clothes were of a strange and unknown style, and his new "friend" seemed more interested in the history behind Konohagakure and the Land of Fire than actually assisting Naruto. The fact that the only blue ninja he knew of was Kisame that damn fish-man also gave him cause to be alarmed. He was elated that Naruto had passed his exam, from what Kakashi had managed to blather out before going home to "recuperate," but the mistake of trusting someone from outside the village so intently weighed against his better judgment. With a heavy sigh, he signaled for his best agents to appear before him, and set his face into a stony glare. When the masked ninja arrived, he set his heart and raised his voice so his instructions would be as clear as he could possibly make them. "Find Naruto and his new… friend. Bring them to me at once! Let no one stand in your way, but do **not** harm Naruto. Now go!" His eyes and heart steeled, he watched as his finest men vanished, moving to complete their mission. The power of the stranger, mixed with his proximity to the container of the demon fox and intense curiosity towards their village, was too grave a threat to ignore.

XxX

Back at the training ground, Genie sat up from the chair he was sitting in, and called Naruto over from where he was practicing on more of the dummies. "Naruto, pal, I've been reading this here book and watching you, but I don't quite think you're doing it right…" Genie waved the book, titled "Konoha Taijutsu Primer vol. I" and saw Naruto's face fall.

"Really Genie? I've just been doing it as my instructors told me to. They always said reading that book was a waste of time, since they'd show me how to do it anyways. If you're sure… can you show me?" Naruto looked at Genie with wide puppy eyes, hoping he'd be willing to show him how. "Sorry lad, I'm no fighter, not really. I could poof over someone who CAN teach you though…" Genie looked thoughtful, and raised his arms. Before he could summon his magic, a kunai shot straight into his foot.

"YE-EE-EE-OW!" Genie cried, hopping in pain. Suddenly, his eyes got all shifty, and he pulled Naruto close to him. "Stay close pal… I don't mean to alarm you, but we're surrounded. I'll take care of this!" With bang, they were suddenly surrounded by 30 Genie clones in various fighting outfits, from martial art gi's to WWII infantrymen, to a chef's outfit. Every Genie drew his weapon of choice (Gun, knife, nunchuck etc.) and stood ready as 2 squads of black-outfitted ninja appeared in a circle around them.

The leader of the band of ninja stepped forward one step, and announced in a loud voice "Naruto Uzumaki and you, foreign visitor, must come with us at _once_!" At his motion, his men surged forward to take Naruto into custody. Before Naruto could call out a warning, the Genie troops charged as well, and the fight was on. Soldier Genie was trying in vain to stab one of the attacking ninja with his bayonet, while Tailor Genie and Hairdresser Genie tag-teamed another, wrapping him tightly in cloth and shaving the poor soul bald. Baker Genie slammed a pair of pies into an attacking duo, while Street-Punk Genie used a lighter and a can of hairspray to set the leader's clothes on fire. All around Naruto, the scene was turmoil, with small clouds of smoke accompanying defeated Genie clones, while injured ninja tried in vain to crawl out of the firing zone.

Suddenly, one of the attacking ninja's mask clicked in Naruto's head, and he realized in horror that the ninja they were fighting were a part of Konoha's shinobi. Turning to the real Genie, he tried in vain to get his attention. Real Genie was pre-occupied with directing the troops before him, however, and didn't hear Naruto's pleas. Eventually, Naruto sucked in a deep breath, and used all of his vocal ability to scream out "STOOOOP!" The word echoed throughout the clearing, freezing both parties where they stood, as Naruto wriggled free from Genie. Turning to his blue buddy, he sighed and said "Genie, these are Konoha Ninja… The Hokage must have sent them."

Genie's mouth dropped open in shock, before the other Genies poofed away. He shifted into the form of a blue mule, and muttered "Well, don't I just look the ass now, huh." Patting his friend in consolation, Naruto walked over to the still-twitching leader and said "We'll come now. Uh, I think that pie will wash out. And I'm sure the hospital can take care of those burns… and stabs… and needles… I'm not sure what can be done about the hair though. Oh well, silly misunderstanding, huh?" Cheerfully whistling, he walked off with Genie, heading directly for the Hokage's tower. The duo left behind a clearing filled with maimed, injured ANBU agents. To their shame two entire squads were bested by the most ridiculous of opponents. Acupuncturists, florists, librarians… they would all be laughingstocks if it ever got out. The Captain of the assault gritted his teeth, and silently swore revenge on the mysterious blue man. It would be his, or he would die trying!

xXx

Naruto and Genie were trotting along to the Hokage's tower, Genie using the time to quiz Naruto on that "Ho-ka-ge" guy he'd mentioned earlier. Apparently he was the big-shot head honcho dude in this town, though Naruto seemed to have an in with him. Hopefully, he'd managed to convince the guy to allow him to remain with Naruto without revealing too much. As they entered the tower, Naruto turned his head and whistled slightly, conspicuously NOT looking at the secretary that was behind the desk. Genie had a bad feeling, but decided to ignore it as Naruto knocked on the Hokage's door, and received a gruff "Enter"

Sarutobi was shocked to see the pair standing before him. He'd been just about to check on the team he had sent after them, and instead here they came waltzing right through his door… alone. "Naruto…" he began to say with a warning tone "Where are my men, Naruto?" Naruto gave him a sheepish look and intently studied the floor, eventually grinding out a "There was a… misunderstanding. My friend here sorta thought they had come to attack me, and well, took them down." Genie had a look of intense pride on his face at that, while the Hokage felt a sinking feeling in his heart. This man was way more dangerous than he'd first believed.

"Never mind that now, Naruto. I've called you here to introduce your new, 'friend'… and explain just exactly where he's come from. After all, such a _unique_ individual must have an _amazing_ background, no?" Hiruzen's tone set Genie on edge, mostly because he could tell that the old man didn't trust him one bit. Though, now that he looked closer at the ancient geezer…

"Why, you're Abu! I'm sure of it, look!" With a wave of his hand, Genie turned the Hokage into the spitting image of Abu, albeit bigger and with more of Sarutobi's face than Abu's. "Doesn't it just suit him perfectly, Naruto?" At that exact moment, Naruto was currently curled up on the floor having what could possibly be the LARGEST panic attack he'd ever experienced. Well, that or he was just laughing so hard he couldn't breath.

The Hokage just barely managed to keep from completely freaking out, though he was hyperventilating just a little. He was a monkey. He. Was. A. _MONKEY._ There had been no gathering of chakra, no complicated handsigns. This was no Genjutsu, or Ninjutsu. The man had merely waved his hand, and turned him into a monkey. Words could not express just how powerful the man before him truly was. He had to get Naruto away from him, and fast. Slapping his hands together, he gathered his chakra and summoned Enma to assist him.

Genie was intrigued. After a large plume of smoke, there were now TWO monkeys, both wearing the same expression. Well… for a few moments at least. Then one of the monkeys looked backwards, saw the other, seemed to freeze for a moment and then collapsed, streams of tears coming from its eyes as it had a fit of laughter. "Sa-sa-SARUTOBI! YOU'RE A MONKEY! AHAHAHAHAHA" Enma was starting to black out, the lack of oxygen finally affecting his brain. The other monkey, now known as the Hokage, looked as if he was steaming. Even Enma had failed him!

Finally, Naruto managed to work up enough air to talk. "G-Genie, turn him back! Please, this is… this is too much." Faced with Naruto's request, Genie shrugged and waved his hands. In a blink, the Hokage was once more sitting behind his desk, in the same position he had been. Enma quietly poofed away, still laughing, and Sarutobi glared at the spot. He'd deal with him later.

The Hokage cleared his throat, and said "Now, if we could return to the question at hand…?"

XxX

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As I said above, I'll try to get more out while the funny lasts, but remember: I'm a workin man!

Read, Review, and Relapse into hysterical fits of laughter!


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